Doing Marriage Well

Seasonal Depression and Christmas Trauma

On Doing Marriage Well (Dec 11, 2025), Paul explores seasonal depression and Christmas-related trauma, explaining how reduced daylight and painful memories can make the holidays hard for many.
He offers practical steps: try a daylight lamp and better lighting, watch for triggers, shield and support your spouse without pressuring them, pick up extra responsibilities, provide social off-ramps, say caring words, and find small comforts to help. Seek professional help if needed and call 988 in a crisis.
 

Christmas Traditions: Duck vs. Ham and Other Battles

This episode explores the small but meaningful clashes couples face at Christmas — different service and gift schedules, opposing favorite foods (duck vs. ham, rum cake vs. mincemeat), and disagreements over trees and decorations.Paul urges spouses to talk, share childhood memories, prioritize what really matters, consider alternating traditions, and aim to make the holiday bless their partner (and a humorous aside about avoiding flocked trees).

Avoiding The 36-Hour Christmas Parade

Feeling trapped by a nonstop holiday parade of parties and family visits? This episode helps couples decide together what an ideal Christmas looks like, set realistic boundaries, and communicate kindly but firmly with relatives.
Practical ideas include hosting limited visiting hours, offering alternative days or locations, and encouraging older generations to be flexible—so your marriage and family actually enjoy the season.
Speaking of giving, our year-end giving it going great, we've hit 25%! Can you help us hit our $10,000 goal before Christmas?

Grandma Got Run Over — Is Your Marriage Next?

This episode looks at how the holidays disrupt routines and strain marriages, from overcrowded schedules and extra expenses to travel and stressed kids.
Paul offers practical steps to protect your relationship: be intentional, use a shared calendar, set clear priorities, limit extra commitments, and rethink gift-giving to reduce stress and financial strain.
Simple, proactive choices can keep your marriage first during the busiest time of year.
Year-end donations: Can you help?

What's Next? You Tell Us!

Paul and Lori review their marriage ministry journey — from founding The Marriage Bed in 1997 and forums in 2000 to blogging and recent shifts in leadership. They reflect on what’s worked, including brief coaching experiments, and explain why some efforts (like coaching) are ending.
This episode outlines upcoming plans: producing podcast episodes, exploring video and YouTube, repackaging content from their sites, and testing donation-based email coaching. They also address the need to monetize some offerings and invite listeners to suggest formats and topics that would help them most.
Listeners are thanked for support and given a quick update on giving progress as the hosts ask for feedback on what to create next.
The Marriage Bed
Speaking of keeping the pets fed: We've passed 10% on our year-end giving. Thanks for a great start!
Click the button to give!
Current total received: $1165 (includes mail in and donations not done via the year-end interface)
Donate with Check or BillPay
Print out our donation form and mail it with your check or money order. Make checks payable to The Marriage Bed. Or skip the form and put "Paul & Lori" in the memo.
Mail to:
Paul & Loric/o The Marriage Bed, Inc.4641 Lyons Hill RoadSpringdale, WA 99173
US donations are tax-deductible

From Skydiving to Christmas Lights: Experience Gifts Strengthen Your Marriage

Paul urges couples to give experiences instead of items, noting research that activities create longer-lasting satisfaction. He shares examples from helicopter rides and skydiving to simple traditions like driving to see Christmas lights or attending community concerts.
Shared experiences activate reward centres, build common stories, and strengthen marriage. Practical ideas include gift certificates, lesson packages, or inexpensive outings with a token under the tree.
Click the button to give!
Donate with Check or BillPay
Print out our donation form and mail it with your check or money order. Make checks payable to The Marriage Bed. Or skip the form and put "Paul & Lori" in the memo.
Mail to:
Paul & Loric/o The Marriage Bed, Inc.4641 Lyons Hill RoadSpringdale, WA 99173
US donations are tax-deductible

Gift-Giving in Marriage Is About Awareness

In this episode Paul explains why gifts are less about money and more about awareness — especially for spouses whose primary love language is receiving gifts. A thoughtful $5 present that fits your partner means more than an expensive item they don’t want.
He offers practical tips: notice what’s worn out, pay attention to comments and ads they watch, give unexpectedly, and have honest conversations when gift expectations become a problem. Giving well strengthens connection and should be an ongoing practice in marriage.
Gifts for Guys Guide

Beyond the Tithe: What the NT Says About Giving

In this episode Paul explores what the New Testament really says about giving and why it matters for married couples. He contrasts the Old Testament tithe with New Testament principles—giving as stewardship, worship, and generosity—using examples from Paul, Barnabas, and the early church.
Paul also discusses the marriage implications: spouses should discuss, pray, and agree on giving so both can give cheerfully, starting small if needed. He closes with a reminder to support your church and ministries you believe in, with donation link in the show notes.
 

Giving Together Strengthens Your Marriage

Paul encourages couples to give together as a way to strengthen their marriage, shifting focus from themselves to those in need. He shares personal examples—supporting food banks, helping families, volunteering, and making recurring donations—that illustrate how shared generosity builds gratitude and unity.Whether you choose a local food bank, support a struggling family, or teach your children to give, donating together creates a meaningful connection and a lasting habit of service.

The Sexual Sacrifice Men Need to Make

Today’s episode explains why men should practice sexual sacrifice—holding back, listening, and prioritizing their wife’s comfort and pleasure—to build a lasting, mutual sex life.We cover common mismatches early in marriage, how pushing unwanted acts damages desire, and practical encouragement to make her pleasure the goal so intimacy can grow.