Doing Marriage Well

Ladies: Understanding His Valentine's Day Mindset

This episode explains why many men see Valentine’s Day differently — some feel pressured, confused about expectations, or think romance should be everyday, not just one date. These attitudes often come from long-standing beliefs, not the relationship itself.It urges women to offer grace, set reasonable expectations, and start a calm conversation about what would feel meaningful. Small gestures, clear communication, and appreciating his effort can make Valentine’s Day easier and more genuine for both partners.

Husbands, Why Your Valentine's Effort Truly Matters

This episode is straight talk for husbands about why showing up for Valentine's Day matters — not just one day but for your marriage. Past disappointments can cause women to hide their hopes, but consistent, thoughtful effort rebuilds trust and affection.Practical tips include simple, sincere actions: say something meaningful on the morning of the 14th, give a small gift like a rose or chocolates, make or share a special dessert, or prepare a quiet dinner at home. These small efforts can prevent hurt feelings and strengthen intimacy beyond Valentine’s Day.

Honoring Love: Why Valentine's Day Matters

Paul traces the origins of Valentine’s Day from the legend of St. Valentine to its long-standing focus on romantic love, and asks whether commercialism should dictate how couples celebrate.
He encourages spouses to honour one another on Valentine’s Day, warns that unmet expectations can harm intimacy, and previews a short series addressing how husbands and wives can celebrate well.

Why 'What Women Want in Bed' Articles Miss the Point

This episode critiques headlines that promise a single answer to "what women want" and explains why porn, movies, and romance novels often give unrealistic expectations about sex.
It urges couples to treat sexual intimacy as a lifelong journey of exploration—dump preconceived rules, communicate, and prioritise her preferences while remembering the marriage bed is for the two partners alone.

The Truth About Truth in Marriage

Paul explores how couples often defend their own version of the truth, escalating conflict and preventing resolution.He encourages humility and practical steps—pray, ask trusted friends, confess where you were wrong, and seek help when needed—to discover the real truth and restore intimacy in marriage.

Accepting Both Beauty and Brokenness In Your Spouse

In this episode Paul discusses the importance of recognising both the beauty and the brokenness in your spouse. Seeing the whole person—both strengths and weaknesses—helps couples stay steady through conflict and appreciate each other more deeply.
Paul explains how acknowledging brokenness without denying beauty, and remembering your own imperfections, builds resilience and grace in marriage. He closes by encouraging listeners to pray for eyes to see their spouse’s beauty and for patience with their brokenness.

Our Secrets to a Happy, Lasting Marriage

On their 41st anniversary, Paul and Lori reflect on how faith and everyday habits helped them overcome doubts and build a joyful, lasting marriage. They credit prayer, surrender to God, and practical routines for keeping their relationship strong.The habits they highlight include generosity, grace, gratitude, daily non-sexual touch (like morning snuggles), caring about each other’s interests, sharing faith through daily devotionals and ministry, and trying new things together.

A Practical Approach to Disagreeing

Doing Marriage Well for January 26, 2026: Paul presents a potpourri episode about handling situations where one partner (Sam) uses media the other (Chris) finds inappropriate. He suggests an immediate, loving response—stop the behaviour and agree to reflect—followed by a calm discussion to understand each other’s feelings, consider deeper relationship issues, and seek a trusted third party if needed. Ultimately, prioritize the relationship over personal entitlement unless your partner is trying to control everything.

Bonus Post: Good Will in Practice

On this bonus episode of Doing Marriage Well (January 24, 2026), Paul explores how assuming your spouse’s good intentions can transform your relationship. He shares practical steps: begin with prayer, reframe annoying behaviours, notice and record moments of goodwill, and have compassionate conversations when patterns persist.
Paul advises checking your own heart first, considering whether changes are temporary, and seeking God’s wisdom about when to hold on or speak up. He emphasises offering grace while setting healthy boundaries and refusing to tolerate abuse.
Listeners are encouraged to practise seeing the good in their spouse for a few weeks and to start honest, loving conversations if problems remain. The goal is to improve marital closeness by choosing charitable interpretations and practical support.
Short, actionable guidance and spiritual insight make this episode a helpful bonus for couples wanting to strengthen their marriage through intentional goodwill.
Paul closes by reminding couples: seeing the good is part of doing marriage well.

Applying Good-Willed to Sex

Doing Marriage Well (Jan 23, 2026): Paul explores whether a spouse's apparent lack of good will around sex reflects deeper issues or misunderstandings. He examines reasons one partner may seem selfish or disinterested — from emotional pain and past trauma to physical difficulties or unrecognized needs — and encourages honest reflection, compassionate conversations, and grace as couples seek understanding and intimacy.