Doing Marriage Well

Are You Accidentally Pushing Your Spouse Away in the Bedroom?

On Doing Marriage Well (March 13, 2026), Paul explores common ways partners unintentionally push each other away in the bedroom — from word choices and sexual jokes to unexpected or unwanted touch and awkward post-sex comments.
He encourages noticing these habits, talking about them when it feels safe, and adjusting behaviour to protect intimacy, and notes that sexual care looks different for every couple.

Nagging Is a Warning Sign Not, Just an Annoyance (Edited version)

Nagging isn’t just irritating — it’s often a warning sign that something deeper is wrong in the marriage. Persistent, repetitive urgings can come from frustration, habit, or past wounds and usually make change less likely.
If you catch yourself nagging, admit it, choose one issue to address, explain why it matters to you, and say what you need. If you’re being nagged, treat it as a cry for help: listen, respond respectfully, and follow through on agreed actions.
If simple fixes don’t work, explore the deeper hurt behind the behaviour and consider couple’s help. Nagging can be the death of a marriage by a thousand cuts — don’t ignore it.

Why Criticism Backfires in Marriage (and What to Say Instead)

In this episode we look at why criticism often backfires in marriage and how to say things that actually help. Criticism can feel like an attack, and a spouse’s history or your tone can make it worse.
Practical tips include starting with appreciation, using I-statements, being specific, avoiding generalisations like "always" or "never", offering solutions, and picking your battles. These steps help create safety and build better communication over time.
One conversation at a time, you can teach your partner that hearing from you is safe and constructive. — Paul

Is Your Ego Is Causing Wrecks in Your Marriage?

Using a highway passing-lane story, this episode shows how subconscious reactions, pride, and a need for control can escalate into danger and tragedy — and how the same impulses can harm marriages.Instead of racing to prove a point, choose to 'pull over' emotionally: step back, let your spouse go ahead, and discuss the issue later when you’re both calm. Pride rarely helps a marriage thrive.

Back Off to Move Forward: What Tailgating Taught Me About Marriage

Using a familiar example of tailgating on a busy two‑lane highway, Paul explains how pushing someone often produces the opposite effect: drivers slow down or resist, and the same dynamic can happen in marriage.Instead of pressuring your spouse, try giving them a little space—stepping back can encourage them to move forward and improve the relationship’s pace and safety.

Gratitude and Desire: Enjoying a Quiet Night Together

Doing Marriage Well for March 6, 2026 — A short post about gratitude, desire, and enjoying a quiet night together, illustrated by the a cappella track "Slow Ride" by the Coates (Seattle).Paul reflects on a kiss that speaks volumes as his wife leaves for work, celebrates unhurried sex as one way to connect, and encourages letting both God and your spouse know how much you cherish your marriage and sex life.Quick post today because Paul is fighting a fever; he signs off wondering if being sick together counts as doing marriage well.

When You’re 64: Building the Marriage You’ll Want in Retirement

This episode explores how to build the marriage you want in retirement by investing in your relationship now. Using The Beatles' "When I'm 64" as a prompt, Paul explains why coasting in busy midlife years can leave couples feeling like roommates and offers a clear call to stay connected, prioritise intimacy, and keep talking.
Practical suggestions include cultivating shared interests, planning simple joint activities, saving for shared dreams, and making everyday togetherness a priority so your marriage feels alive when you’re older.
When I’m Sixty-Four

“I Was Your Clown”: Humour, Comfort, and Carrying the Weight Together

Doing Marriage Well — March 5, 2026: “I Was Your Clown” uses Elton John & Kiki Dee’s 1976 hit “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” to show how humour and comfort can lighten a spouse’s darkest moments.
The episode explains that sometimes a laugh, sometimes a kind word, a silent hug, or a long snuggle is what helps most; other times prayer, a listening ear, or giving space is needed.
Being what your spouse needs requires learning them well: responses will change by person and situation, and early efforts are often hit-or-miss.
Assurances count only when backed by consistent, small faithful actions; when fears surface, don’t take them personally, and instead offer steady reassurance with both words and habits.
Practical takeaway: ask your spouse when they’re calm — “When you’re stressed, what helps most?” — and practice meeting that need so sharing life together truly takes some of the weight off.
Don’t Go Breaking My Heart, sung by Elton John & Kiki Dee
 

Marriage Battle Wounds: Why Hiding Hurts

This episode explores marriage battle wounds and why hiding hurts. Today's playlist pick is "This Is Me" from The Greatest Showman (link in show notes). We reframe the song to say "This is us" — you and your spouse. The episode uses wounded imagery to talk about real marriage struggles.
Many couples hide their wounds behind carefully crafted lies. That secrecy keeps them from receiving support and powerful prayers. Without help, struggles are harder and sometimes fatal to the marriage. Hiding also isolates others who think they alone suffer.
You don't need to announce every argument publicly; be wise in who you tell. Share with trusted, mature people who can help and pray. Be quick to use your past struggles to comfort others.
This Is Me, from The Greatest Showman
 

The Power of “Yet”: Hope for Couples Who Feel Stuck

In this episode Paul uses Lindsey Stirling's comeback story to highlight the small but powerful word "yet"—a reminder that struggling couples can improve their relationships with patience and effort.
He encourages listeners not to be defeated by negative voices, to keep working on communication, intimacy, and respect, and to believe that a stronger marriage is possible.
Lindsey Stirling’s Eye of the Untold Her.